I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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