Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
