For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
