dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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