I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there was a trapeze. enough said
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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