I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
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Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.