no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident