i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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