What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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