just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
