Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
