Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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