Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
