You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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