My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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