so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
