I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
