I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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