Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
