tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
