do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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