____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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