we're blogging at a bar
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
