Can Purell be used as lube?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize