Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize