i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
