Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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