if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
