was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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