The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
