kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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