Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
