The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
