Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
