I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
