Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
