that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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