FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
