her vagine was all disorganized.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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