Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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