So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
