I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
