2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
