Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
