Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If that was your dad, he is hot
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
