well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
