38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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