i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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