your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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