he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
A+ Viking dick
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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