Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
