There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's like heaven, but drunker
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
