That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
