He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize