If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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