I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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