FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
