I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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