honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
