what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
