I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
