I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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