Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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