when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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