I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
