She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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