No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
