So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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