3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
